Interview with Richard Fenton as he talks about striving to get "no" instead of a "yes" when sales pitching. Read on!!
Reader Views is please to have with us Richard Fenton, author of “Go for No!” With the world being inundated with books that give sales training techniques for getting to the “yes” Richard recommends the opposite – going for the “no.” Welcome Richard.
Irene: First of all, what inspired you to write “Go for No!”?
Richard: Basically, Go for No is my personal story. Most of my life I have allowed the fear of failure and rejection to rule my actions, so much so that I wasted years not pursuing my dreams. Of course, this is not to say that I have “mastered” the art of courage. Courage requires daily focus; in that way I am clearly a “work in progress.” And I’ve always wondered what it would be like to meet the person you will one day become, say 10 or 20 years in the future. What would they (you) be like? What could they teach you? What advice would you give yourself if this were actually possible? And, since I think most people have a fear of failure and rejection… as I do… I decided to make that the main theme of the book.
Irene: How did you pick the characters for your book?
Richard: Eric Bratton, both as the main character and his alter-ego “future self”, is me. The first EB is the person I was; the second is the person I am becoming. I guess you could say the “real me” is somewhere in the middle.
Irene: Does the “real me” continue to fluctuate between the two alter-egos?
Richard: Absolutely! I would love to be able to say that the strong me is present all the time. But, even though I know better and literally wrote the book on this, I still slip into weak me mode sometimes. But that’s what being courageous is all about. Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting in the face of it. Without the fear, there is no courage.
Irene: Did you base any of the characters on your own life experience?
Richard: Yes. Harold, the manager who tells Eric to “go for no” is a real manager from my past who had a profound effect on my life by telling me exactly that. All the rest are simply vehicles for the concepts I wanted to express.
Irene: The writing style is different from most books in this genre, yet the message is as powerful, or more powerful, than books that are written giving techniques and tools for improvement. Why do you believe readers will “get it” with your book as compared to others?
Richard: First, thanks for the compliment. As to your question, yes, I hope so. I’ve always responded more to stories that keep me engaged, where there is a vested interest in a character and curiosity as to what will happen next in the story, like in movies or novels. It’s also a lot more fun to write, which is important to me personally.
Irene: You focus on the “no” aspects. We are taught to direct our thoughts to the “yes” aspects, the so called positive focus. Tell us how “no” actually is a positive after all.
Richard: We are all taught, directly or indirectly, that “yes” is the destination in life, to get what we want, whether we’re selling a product, asking for a raise, convincing the guy or girl of our dreams to marry us, or getting our kids to eat their spinach. What we’re not taught is that the willingness to hear “no” is how we get there. In that way, yes and no are not opposites; they’re simply opposite sides of the same coin.
Irene: Most of us don’t want to hear “no” for an answer. It starts in childhood and continues throughout life. You are proposing a concept that is hard to switch to. What are your suggestions for changing a mindset that has been integrated into the thought pattern throughout the lifetime?
Richard: This is an interesting question. We get a lot of letters from people who’ve read the book, many who say they were immediately able to make the switch, and others who struggle with it. It’s important to realize that courage is a muscle like any other physical muscle; building it requires exercise! This is not to say it’s easy. Success is simple, but it’s never easy.
Irene: As a key-note speaker you present a step-by-step process for setting “no-goals” to increase productivity. Again, this is against the rule. Explain to us how your theory actually does work.
Richard: Let me use how we “sell” my speaking services to our clients. To make the living I want to give 50 keynote presentations a year, basically one a week. Statistically, from our experience, each of those dates (the “yeses”) involves us getting turned down (the “noes”) approximately 100 times. So, we have two choices; one is to go for 50 yeses per year, the other is to go for 5,000 noes. That’s our “no” goal: to get rejected 5,000 times per year. If we do that, the yeses take care of themselves.
Irene: This all reminds me of the statistics courses I struggled through in college. It is finally making sense. However, most of us have rejection issues. What are your suggestions on facing 5000 noes just to get 50 yeses. That is a lot of rejections to face and the self-esteem could really be stretched.
Richard: One of the most important things to realize is that “no” isn’t personal. When we personalize it – meaning that we see the no as a rejection of ourselves – then, yes, the constant rejection can take a chunk out of our self-esteem. So the key is to not take it personally. For example, I attended a workshop recently and one of the things we learned was to think “SWSWSW” whenever someone says no to us.
Irene: Which means…?
Richard: Some Will, Some Won’t, So What?! The rejection has nothing to do with you – it’s only personal if you allow it to be. Or, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
Irene: A lot of us have a fear of failure. Most of us don’t want to admit it or don’t even realize that is the basis of non-success. Please give us some insight on how we can address our fears.
Richard: Wow, what a wonderful segue to mention my next book, co-authored with Andrea Waltz, called “The Fear Factory” which is due out in May, 2006. While I’ve got you, want to buy a copy? I figure the worst that could happen is that you’ll say no.
Irene: I’m sure your next book will be as revealing as “Go for No!” Is there anything else you would like the reading audience to know about you or your book?
Richard: Go for No! is a life philosophy… we urge anyone who wants to do more… or be more… to get it and read it. And let us know about how the go for no philosophy has affected them. This is more about me and my book… I want to help the world to go for no! Readers can find us at http:www.goforno.com
Reader Views is please to have with us Richard Fenton, author of “Go for No!” With the world being inundated with books that give sales training techniques for getting to the “yes” Richard recommends the opposite – going for the “no.” Welcome Richard.
Irene: First of all, what inspired you to write “Go for No!”?
Richard: Basically, Go for No is my personal story. Most of my life I have allowed the fear of failure and rejection to rule my actions, so much so that I wasted years not pursuing my dreams. Of course, this is not to say that I have “mastered” the art of courage. Courage requires daily focus; in that way I am clearly a “work in progress.” And I’ve always wondered what it would be like to meet the person you will one day become, say 10 or 20 years in the future. What would they (you) be like? What could they teach you? What advice would you give yourself if this were actually possible? And, since I think most people have a fear of failure and rejection… as I do… I decided to make that the main theme of the book.
Irene: How did you pick the characters for your book?
Richard: Eric Bratton, both as the main character and his alter-ego “future self”, is me. The first EB is the person I was; the second is the person I am becoming. I guess you could say the “real me” is somewhere in the middle.
Irene: Does the “real me” continue to fluctuate between the two alter-egos?
Richard: Absolutely! I would love to be able to say that the strong me is present all the time. But, even though I know better and literally wrote the book on this, I still slip into weak me mode sometimes. But that’s what being courageous is all about. Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting in the face of it. Without the fear, there is no courage.
Irene: Did you base any of the characters on your own life experience?
Richard: Yes. Harold, the manager who tells Eric to “go for no” is a real manager from my past who had a profound effect on my life by telling me exactly that. All the rest are simply vehicles for the concepts I wanted to express.
Irene: The writing style is different from most books in this genre, yet the message is as powerful, or more powerful, than books that are written giving techniques and tools for improvement. Why do you believe readers will “get it” with your book as compared to others?
Richard: First, thanks for the compliment. As to your question, yes, I hope so. I’ve always responded more to stories that keep me engaged, where there is a vested interest in a character and curiosity as to what will happen next in the story, like in movies or novels. It’s also a lot more fun to write, which is important to me personally.
Irene: You focus on the “no” aspects. We are taught to direct our thoughts to the “yes” aspects, the so called positive focus. Tell us how “no” actually is a positive after all.
Richard: We are all taught, directly or indirectly, that “yes” is the destination in life, to get what we want, whether we’re selling a product, asking for a raise, convincing the guy or girl of our dreams to marry us, or getting our kids to eat their spinach. What we’re not taught is that the willingness to hear “no” is how we get there. In that way, yes and no are not opposites; they’re simply opposite sides of the same coin.
Irene: Most of us don’t want to hear “no” for an answer. It starts in childhood and continues throughout life. You are proposing a concept that is hard to switch to. What are your suggestions for changing a mindset that has been integrated into the thought pattern throughout the lifetime?
Richard: This is an interesting question. We get a lot of letters from people who’ve read the book, many who say they were immediately able to make the switch, and others who struggle with it. It’s important to realize that courage is a muscle like any other physical muscle; building it requires exercise! This is not to say it’s easy. Success is simple, but it’s never easy.
Irene: As a key-note speaker you present a step-by-step process for setting “no-goals” to increase productivity. Again, this is against the rule. Explain to us how your theory actually does work.
Richard: Let me use how we “sell” my speaking services to our clients. To make the living I want to give 50 keynote presentations a year, basically one a week. Statistically, from our experience, each of those dates (the “yeses”) involves us getting turned down (the “noes”) approximately 100 times. So, we have two choices; one is to go for 50 yeses per year, the other is to go for 5,000 noes. That’s our “no” goal: to get rejected 5,000 times per year. If we do that, the yeses take care of themselves.
Irene: This all reminds me of the statistics courses I struggled through in college. It is finally making sense. However, most of us have rejection issues. What are your suggestions on facing 5000 noes just to get 50 yeses. That is a lot of rejections to face and the self-esteem could really be stretched.
Richard: One of the most important things to realize is that “no” isn’t personal. When we personalize it – meaning that we see the no as a rejection of ourselves – then, yes, the constant rejection can take a chunk out of our self-esteem. So the key is to not take it personally. For example, I attended a workshop recently and one of the things we learned was to think “SWSWSW” whenever someone says no to us.
Irene: Which means…?
Richard: Some Will, Some Won’t, So What?! The rejection has nothing to do with you – it’s only personal if you allow it to be. Or, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
Irene: A lot of us have a fear of failure. Most of us don’t want to admit it or don’t even realize that is the basis of non-success. Please give us some insight on how we can address our fears.
Richard: Wow, what a wonderful segue to mention my next book, co-authored with Andrea Waltz, called “The Fear Factory” which is due out in May, 2006. While I’ve got you, want to buy a copy? I figure the worst that could happen is that you’ll say no.
Irene: I’m sure your next book will be as revealing as “Go for No!” Is there anything else you would like the reading audience to know about you or your book?
Richard: Go for No! is a life philosophy… we urge anyone who wants to do more… or be more… to get it and read it. And let us know about how the go for no philosophy has affected them. This is more about me and my book… I want to help the world to go for no! Readers can find us at http:www.goforno.com
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By Irene Watson
Irene Watson is the managing editor of Reader Views http://www.readerviews.com
